No Heartbeat......

Our ten week scan didn't come on Friday as anticipated...On Saturday I received an email from Dr. S telling me that she needs to talk to me. Well, as everyone knows, anytime a woman tells you that you need to talk, it is never good news....the problem was that i was a few hours away from home and gene wasn't with me...so i drove back home to try to get in touch with dr s..by this time it was saturday night, usa time...to make a long story short, due to the clinic being closed on sunday and the time zone difference it was monday morning before we got the "call of doom"....in a nutshell...no heartbeat...confirmed by radiologist...surrogate is asymptomatic and will require a D & C.....and we are yet again, babyless....I've cried, cussed and eaten all of the ice cream in the house; yet I still don't feel any better...i guess, shopping is the next negative coping mechanism on the agenda...I know there are people that have had babies after one attempt; some after 7 attempts..others just give up....I don't know how long it will take us, but we will be two of those people that have babies. I'm just ready for our ship to come in....it's been a weary journey....I thought I saw light at the end of the tunnel, but it was just a mirage....I can still see the light...I just have to make it through the fog first....Don't worry, I will pick myself up and we will continue on our babyquest....I'm just having a pity party today...as Scarlett O'Hara said, "tomorrow is another day". Like I told my kids when they were bummed out about moving; when one door closes another door opens...BUT, between you and me, why does it have to slam so dang hard?

grow baby grow!!!

I was just going to update my last post a bit. I was out of town when we got the results and was having to post via my smartphone. I had to keep it brief due to poor service and my slowness!! Anyway, I just wanted to say that we are over the moon..I get excited...then I try to bring myself down and remain realistic that there are no guarantees and still a high miscarriage rate...we still have a long way to go and it could go either way...But, it is slowly sinking in...as for now at least....WE ARE PREGNANT!!! And, for the fist time while pregnant I'm not throwing up 6-10 times a day!!! Unfortunately I appear to have had some sympathetic weight gain....that I am trying to work on...it doesn't help that I'm an emotional eater...I have heard some women say that they gained 10 pounds with every fertility treatment...omg...I'm destined to be a fatty....I guess now the big decision is...do I go back in jan/feb for a sibling project or wait until baby pick up in July? God forbid anything happens to this pregnancy but if it does, I would like to be ahead of the game...besides, I am way over due for botox (lol; everyone know wrinkles and children go hand in hand!!) and I'm not going to do that again until we are through with egg retrievals.....My worry about waiting until july is that i will be, gulp, the big 40 in July....after age 38 your fertility takes a huge hit every 6 mths...and lets face it...I'm not a spring chicken and not a big egg producer...then I feel guilty for even considering doing it again when there are so many that have never had a positive or have had miscarriages....I tell myself I should be grateful for what God has given us so far and stop being selfish....but in reality, I really would like for this baby to have a younger sibling...I don't want him/her to be too spoiled!! And between us, grandparents and the two older siblings...he/she will have no choice but to be spoiled rotten!!! but, honestly, I went from an afc of 17 to a mere 4 in a little less than a year.... I do not have time (or follicles) to waste!! But, on a positive note I wanted to add all of the measurements and information obtained from our ultrasound at 8 weeks...that will give the other IP's something to compare to...all of the IP's blogs have been a godsend for me and a great resource to compare notes to...well here it goes...8 week scan showed well defined gestational sac containing single live embryo. Yolk sac is normal. Heartrate of 158. Decidual reaction is adequate. CRL measures 17mm which corresponds to 8 weeks 1 day. Dr. Shivani reported it as normal.I love normal!!! Woo hoo!!! Hope that info help!! Now we are on a 2 week ultrasound schedule...so, no news....is good news!!!! Rene'

8 week scan results

Whew!!!! Normal 8 week scan!!! No mention of bleed!!
Heartrate 150's.....whoo hoo!! Next scan two weeks! Thank you for your thoughts & prayers!!! Rene' & Gene