Well....24 weeks...6 mths...a few hiccups along the way but we are hanging in there....still too scared to start the nursery...maybe at 29 weeks, hmm....I am so thankful to have made it this far but unfortunately realize there are many that have made it this far and still do not have a baby...I guess you could say I'm cautiously optimistic...I will just go with the premise that no news is good news....I guess I need to email the embassy and start getting DNA test information and Operation Exit India squared away...hopefully February will get here before we know it!!! It's just like I'm in denial at times....or think that if I say it out loud something will happen, you know? The practial side of me says that telling people about our pregnancy will no way affect the outcome...but, the superstitious side of me says, why take any chances? So, here I sit...not allowing myself to daydream or make plans, you know, just in case....I just hope that at some point in this pregnancy I can allow myself to enjoy it...and stop being afraid all of the time...maybe at 32 weeks, hmm......
Oh you are funny, part of me wants to tell you to relax and enjoy it but the other half knows its nowhere near that simple and that I've felt the same many times....perhaps you may look back and regret not making the most if this special time, what if it never happens again? I came to the thinking that me decorating nursery and buying baby bits would really make no difference to a biological (miracle) pregnancy on the other side of the world and that the fall would be no harder because I've bought stuff,.... if it all went wrong I mean and at least I'll have no regrets....but we are all so different, and I'm not trying to say my ways better or worse, just different....Congratulations on 24weeks!! 3weeks 2days behind us only!!! Yay!!!! We will be in India for 3mobtgs so we will see you there?!
ReplyDeleteAnother big milestone! I've also had a hard time enjoying the pregnancy at times, given the few issues we've had along the way. It's such a fragile place to be. I think I google "when does a pregnancy become viable" at least once a week, like there would be some new answer!
ReplyDeleteWe've actually had the opposite approach from you with telling people about the pregnancy and buying things. When we got our first negative, we went out to look at baby clothes. With each of the hospital admissions, we started thinking about & buying little things for the nursery. When the brain cyst was found, we bought the crib. In my case, it helped distract me from the negative news and remind me that we're going to be parents of this little one. Surely, it's different for every parent, but all of the daydreaming and getting ready for the baby has really let us enjoy the ride. If something happens and we have to look at this crib for another year while we try again, I think it will just be a reminder that we're going to be parents no matter what.
The path that brings us to surrogacy in India is very different for everyone, so of course everyone will handle the journey differently. Don't take this comment as me telling you what you should do, I just wanted to share a different perspective.
Congrats on hitting 24 weeks!!
I feel the same way - I open my email every morning while holding my breath. I am crossing off each week until we hit the 28 week mark and even then I know that being born at 28 weeks is still high risk. We are at 20 weeks on monday and still have not even bought one baby outfit. Just keep your eyes on the horizon and know that each Sunday is one week closer to your baby. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteI have been so out of it for the past several months. But reading this makes me so incredibly happy for you guys...you are getting very close to meeting that littl!...try to relax (I say that having gone through a lot of the same anxieties, failed attempts, etc), start doing some planning, and before you know it, you'll be there! Good luck...thinking very good thoughts for you guys. I'll try to be better at following along...
ReplyDeleteyay to 24 weeks! so know what you mean, i have the days where all i want to do is go out and baby stuff and then there are days i have the superstitous hat on and i think no not yet... All the best with your operation exit india x
ReplyDeleteYes have to agree with all those comments as well as yours...we all feel the same! After 12 weeks we, well me more than hubby, started preparing the nursery. I had to be doing something, and it helped me to stay positive. I also know that we most likely will not be pregnant again so I wanted to enjoy the feeling. This whole baby ordeal has been so negative I felt it was time to start putting that behind us. I still have those anxious days though! Good luck we are thinking of you!
ReplyDeleteI also felt the same right up until the night before Kai was born! Its so much harder than the outside world will ever know, 24 weeks is great hon!!!!I wish I could tell you something to lessen the anxiety. Thinking of you, Iove to you all xx
ReplyDeleteIt's crazy to read back on this old post and compare it to where you are now. So close to having your little girl in your arms!
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