Life with MJ

Sorry I haven't blogged lately. I'm still suffering from months of  lack of sleep but fortunately, last night, for the first time EVER...MJ slept all night...my baby is growing up...She is 4 mths old now...adjusted age about 8 weeks...she continues to bring joy to my life daily...she is such a precious child...we are so blessed...as long as we hold her...she never cries...therefore...she never cries, lol....

I'm trying to decide if I want to continue this blog or not...it was created to helped other couples by blogging our journey and hardships along the way...I may just start another one involving all members of our immediate family and let this one be idle...Idle that is, until round 2. Although most anxious for round 2, I dread the stress.....we have a limited number of embryos left...the nicu and FRRO visit a memory yet still fresh in my mind...I guess I just want to relish in the one normal aspect of this journey so far....just loving MJ...enjoying her presence...

Speaking of normal...we finally had her baby shower last week...her first big outing...it went very well...finally, we got to experience one "normal" pregnancy/new baby experience...it was nice for a change...got to experience it first hand...not by email or phone call....

MJ is 10 pounds 5 ounces now..WOW!! She has one more visit with the cardiologist (hopefully we will be able to stop the Lasix then)...her reflux is aggravating but manageable with Zantac...she appears to be hitting her developmental milestones on target with her adjusted age...finally she has some fat rolls!! She has lost a lot of her hair...headbands with bows are her best friend...she smiles constantly and is always moving and cooing...what a joy...what a journey...

Now for some pics...some are from the baby shower...some are just MJ chilling...

 

Isn't the cake cute????

April 27, 2013

 

look at those cheeks now!!

 

Ok..just half a smile...

 

MJ Update

well..MJ is due to be born in 4 more days..wow...so hard to believe...she is 9 weeks old and swinging in the swing in our living room...looks like a little angel...but, trust me...her lungs continue to develop!! She now cries with tears and is starting to get some volume!! She is on two antibiotics for a uti..that gives her the bellyache at times...but overall, she continues to improve daily..i was hoping the breathing treatments would soon be over but I feel that she will need them for a while longer...not so much due to pneumonia but more so due to her prematurity...she takes about 2 oz every 3 hours but sometimes she has to take a break in between the first and second ounce...can't wait to see how much weight she has gained...last doctor visit she weighed 4 pounds 12 oz!!

She is starting to wake up more now and is using her hands more and more. She gets more interactive each day!  I was just thinking about all we have gone through to get to this point...and everything MJ has went through...3 egg retrievals from me with 2 negative results and one miscarriage...1 donor egg retrieval with MJ and one negative donor frozen transfer...5 attempts involving numerous people...used about 20 embryos total so far...and finally we have one baby...a baby born at 29 weeks in a third world country...her diagnosis include 29 weeks gestation, low birth weight, PAD, CHF, pneumonia, uti, hypoxia, tracheomalacia...and yet, shes swinging in her swing with her pacifier in her mouth in our living room right now.....and life is good...

IVF/surrogacy in India is not for the faint hearted, that's for sure...but it worked for us...and for many others before us...it wasn't easy...wasn't cheap and wasn't guaranteed...but..it worked....there are still many out there that it hasn't worked for and I keep them in my prayers...as they get second mortgages, loans, sell assets...all for the pursuit of a child.....and I encourage them to keep their eye on the prize...and keep the faith...

I also wanted to say thank you to everyone that has kept us in their prayers...and thank you for all of the kind comments on our blog...I have trouble replying to the comments...my computer gets nutty..so, I just wanted to let you all know that I read your comments and they mean the world to me...take care and God Bless!


                                                      

 

MJ 7 weeks old

 

first family photo with all of us together the night we got home from India

 

Home Sweet Home

Well...we made it home...took 3 weeks...MJ stayed in the hospital until a few hours before we took off...we made it home on Sunday night around 6:00pm and by Wednesday 6:00pm MJ was admitted to the hospital.  Seriously? Respiratory distress once we are in the US? MJ has a chromic "congestion" /nasal congestion which has made her so tired that she could barely breathe..she had retractions and was soo pale..it was very scary...So instead of just lasix and vitamins...she now has breathing treatments around the clock, along with nasal spray (2 of them)...looks like we will not only be seeing cardiologist and opthamologist, we need to add an ENT to the list...but, everyone that complains about the prices of the NICU in India...we stayed 24 hours in the hospital in a regular room, not NICU and the was $4300....but on the bright side our $5000 insurance deductible is now met...

But, at the end of the day, we still have our little sweet girl...and that is what this blog is all about...

 

Delhi Day 14

Update: we transferred MJ to Max Hospital yesterday..her respiratory status started declining at Eden and we felt that she needed to be at a higher acuity hospital with tons of specialists. We loved the staff at Eden and they were very good to us and MJ but we felt that she needed a higher level of care. We had her transferred by ambulance and almost immediately diagnosed with pneumonia...as scary as pneumonia is in a preemie it's a much better option than her heart causing her problems... her pda is "large" but it has decreased about 20% in size. She looked slightly better today. She was breathing much easier. She has her feeding tube back but hopefully once she gets off oxygen that will be removed as well.  We are at Svelte this week...will update you on the pros and cons as i see them of the two on another update...MJ's daddy is bugging me to get off of the computer so he can use it...guess we should have brought two laptops...keep us in your prayers...

Day 9 Delhi

Ok...I'm a terrible blogger...but, in my defense we have had a lot going on. We stayed a week at the Hilton (free on rewards points, woo hoo!) and yesterday moved over to svelte to a room with a microwave for bottle sterilization...The internet is slow here and not as good as at the Hilton..we have to use wireless here and I do not like that...I prefer wired when I am out of town and needing to access personal information...

Anyway, lets catch up...it has been a total roller coaster...MJ is up and down...until yesterday we had a hard time getting her to take more than 15ml at a time from us....she was getting just exhausted...yesterday and today she took the whole 30ml when we fed but she has had some episodes of her 02 sats dropping when NOT feeding..so..I feel like one step forward and two steps back!! But, she looks good...she is more alert and taking her feeds much better...I personally feel that she is having reflux issues and although Dr., Gupta doesn't feel that is an issue he did start her on some anti-reflux meds prophylactically...He feels that her PDA (heart thingy) is the cause of the desatting...We were considering getting her out tomorrow but now he feels that we need to wait another day or two...we are probably going to wait until her FRRO appointment and then jet out the same night...of course we have no idea when that will be....

The embassy came and did the dna collection yesterday for us at the hospital due to her heart condition...I just cannot thank them enough..they have been very kind to us...we then went to the embassy today to get her CRBA (certificate of birth abroad).  Unbelievably, we were in and out in one hour!! Amazing!!  We filled out the forms...Both of our names are on the Indian birth certificate and the CRBA and will be on her passport as well...The CRBA is her american birth certificate. She will likely be the only one in her class with one of those on the first day of school in our little town, lol....Once the DNA test is back we will get her an emergency passport that is good for one year...at that point we will make our appointment with the FRRO to get her Indian visa and then we can finally head home!!

Heading home opens up some new issues...especially with her PDA...we are going to be making some phone calls to some dr's in the us and coming up with a plan...Overall, she is just a precious tiny baby and we are so blessed. We can't wait to get her home.

I also wanted to thank everyone that has commented on our blog...For some reason..my computer is slow and I'm unable to reply to each one..I finally gave up..but I do appreciate everything you guys write and all of your positive vibes!! We could not have done it without you!!  We are at Svelte in room 516 if any of you guys here in Delhi want to get together!! Would love to hear how you guys are doing!!  I will try to be better with the updates and get some pics in soon...Take care and God Bless....

Day 3 Delhi

Well...day 3 is here...quick recap...day 1-flew into delhi late monday night with only one suitcase of 4, day 2-met MJ for the first time at Eden hospital and Dr. Gupta, 3-got to feed MJ a bottle and had our 3 lost suitcases arrive at our hotel without warning...now...let me elaborate...meeting MJ was undescribable yet felt so right...it felt perfectly normal to meet our daughter for the first time at 4 weeks old 8000 miles away from home...sounds weird, huh?  But, that is our normal...we took the road less traveled and it eventually got us to our destination...the ride hasn't been easy or short, but it was successful and for this we are greatful...

We did get a little "surprise" from Dr. Gupta. He failed to mention in our daily conversations for the past month that MJ had a cardiac issue. She has PDA, which is failure of the vessel that carries oxygen to the lungs to close at birth. If it doesn't close with medication or on its own, it will require surgery. Apparently somewhat common with preemies, but apparently something that can only be mentioned when you are face to face with the doctor. That being said, I really am glad that he didn't tell me over the phone because it was difficult enough staying in the US for so long..If I had known about the PDA I would have most definitely been freaking out...

We have no idea when she will be discharged...we just take it day by day...I don't expect it to be anytime soon...she finally today took 30ml at once today..that is equivalent to 1 oz...she gets that every 3 hours...

We have obtained her Indian birth certificate..now we have to wait for dna test...I did ask Dr. Gupta if we could check her out and take to Embassy for DNA and then come back to NICU but of course, he said no..I thought maybe I could pull the "we are both healthcare providers card" but, to no avail...so for now...we wait...and wait...

 

 

Miss Mary Jane

 

Ohhh...India...

We are here!! Only a few more hours until we meet MJ!!! Can't wait!! Unfortunately, our luggage did not make it. So, we will look rough for a few days...Out of 4 bags only 1 made it...yikes...We are at Hilton if anyone is in town and wants to meet up! My inlaws are at Svelte (it's my all time fave but we had rewards points to use up at hilton..got a free week!!)..We will move to Svelte next week...so far am very pleased with the Hilton though...I just miss the living room at Svelte...anyway...going to get the ball rolling tomorrow! Indian birth certificate is in process and now have to see how MJ is improving for the DNA test. Will update when I know more!