No Heartbeat......

Our ten week scan didn't come on Friday as anticipated...On Saturday I received an email from Dr. S telling me that she needs to talk to me. Well, as everyone knows, anytime a woman tells you that you need to talk, it is never good news....the problem was that i was a few hours away from home and gene wasn't with me...so i drove back home to try to get in touch with dr s..by this time it was saturday night, usa time...to make a long story short, due to the clinic being closed on sunday and the time zone difference it was monday morning before we got the "call of doom"....in a nutshell...no heartbeat...confirmed by radiologist...surrogate is asymptomatic and will require a D & C.....and we are yet again, babyless....I've cried, cussed and eaten all of the ice cream in the house; yet I still don't feel any better...i guess, shopping is the next negative coping mechanism on the agenda...I know there are people that have had babies after one attempt; some after 7 attempts..others just give up....I don't know how long it will take us, but we will be two of those people that have babies. I'm just ready for our ship to come in....it's been a weary journey....I thought I saw light at the end of the tunnel, but it was just a mirage....I can still see the light...I just have to make it through the fog first....Don't worry, I will pick myself up and we will continue on our babyquest....I'm just having a pity party today...as Scarlett O'Hara said, "tomorrow is another day". Like I told my kids when they were bummed out about moving; when one door closes another door opens...BUT, between you and me, why does it have to slam so dang hard?

grow baby grow!!!

I was just going to update my last post a bit. I was out of town when we got the results and was having to post via my smartphone. I had to keep it brief due to poor service and my slowness!! Anyway, I just wanted to say that we are over the moon..I get excited...then I try to bring myself down and remain realistic that there are no guarantees and still a high miscarriage rate...we still have a long way to go and it could go either way...But, it is slowly sinking in...as for now at least....WE ARE PREGNANT!!! And, for the fist time while pregnant I'm not throwing up 6-10 times a day!!! Unfortunately I appear to have had some sympathetic weight gain....that I am trying to work on...it doesn't help that I'm an emotional eater...I have heard some women say that they gained 10 pounds with every fertility treatment...omg...I'm destined to be a fatty....I guess now the big decision is...do I go back in jan/feb for a sibling project or wait until baby pick up in July? God forbid anything happens to this pregnancy but if it does, I would like to be ahead of the game...besides, I am way over due for botox (lol; everyone know wrinkles and children go hand in hand!!) and I'm not going to do that again until we are through with egg retrievals.....My worry about waiting until july is that i will be, gulp, the big 40 in July....after age 38 your fertility takes a huge hit every 6 mths...and lets face it...I'm not a spring chicken and not a big egg producer...then I feel guilty for even considering doing it again when there are so many that have never had a positive or have had miscarriages....I tell myself I should be grateful for what God has given us so far and stop being selfish....but in reality, I really would like for this baby to have a younger sibling...I don't want him/her to be too spoiled!! And between us, grandparents and the two older siblings...he/she will have no choice but to be spoiled rotten!!! but, honestly, I went from an afc of 17 to a mere 4 in a little less than a year.... I do not have time (or follicles) to waste!! But, on a positive note I wanted to add all of the measurements and information obtained from our ultrasound at 8 weeks...that will give the other IP's something to compare to...all of the IP's blogs have been a godsend for me and a great resource to compare notes to...well here it goes...8 week scan showed well defined gestational sac containing single live embryo. Yolk sac is normal. Heartrate of 158. Decidual reaction is adequate. CRL measures 17mm which corresponds to 8 weeks 1 day. Dr. Shivani reported it as normal.I love normal!!! Woo hoo!!! Hope that info help!! Now we are on a 2 week ultrasound schedule...so, no news....is good news!!!! Rene'

8 week scan results

Whew!!!! Normal 8 week scan!!! No mention of bleed!!
Heartrate 150's.....whoo hoo!! Next scan two weeks! Thank you for your thoughts & prayers!!! Rene' & Gene

6 weeks scan

We have a hearbeat!!! Woo hoo!!! 142!!! Decidual reaction is adequate!!!! (I have never been so happy to be adequate in all my life!)  Yolk sac is normal...CRL 3mm....BUT...there is a 15 x 9 mm s/c bleed noted on ultrasound; so surro MD is on strict bedrest and we will get another scan in 2 weeks!!!  This is the longest freaking rollercoaster I have ever been on!!! I am cautiously optimistic, I am excited but guarded....please continue to keep us in your prayers....and our little surrogate, bless her heart....barely pregnant and already on bedrest!!! Another 2ww......Rene'

more waiting....

Ok...I am not a patient person and I tend to be a little controlling....perfect candidate for surrogacy/IP/India...right???  I want to know beta numbers, I want to know progesterone levels....I want to check the patient/surro...any bleeding, any cramping????  Honestly, it is truly best that she is thousands of miles away and that she is a stranger to me...because, if she and I were friends before the surrogacy, we would surely not be afterwards, lol...I would have driven her crazy and she would have unfriended me on facebook by now!!! I just keep thinking, God, please grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change....we should get another scan later in the week......until then I will just try to stay positive and keep busy!!! Again, thanks surro community for being my cheerleaders this week! Your positive comments have really helped...keep the prayers and positive energy coming our way...Rene'

doesn't look good.....

Well..the ultrasound results revealed a gestational sac (no yolk sac/noembryo)...Sometimes this isn't seen until 5.5 weeks and we were just 5 weeks today...BUT...the bad news is (or the worst news) is that the decidual reaction is weak..and apparently that means there could be an endometrial thickening issue....so basically, they will do another ultrasound next week, but doesn't look good.......what a roller coaster ride....

a little FYI

Just found out that our surro with the positive pregnancy test is the one that received only ONE EMBRYO!!  You know what they say....it only takes one....now if we can only "keep" one in the oven for 9 months!!!  I guess it's true....quality is better than quantity when it comes to eggs/embryos.....

more waiting.....

The next hurdle we have is the ultrasound....it should be done sometime this week (i'm voting on friday but they didn't commit to a day!)....i'm scared to get excited yet....if we can just make it through the first trimester, then, maybe.....i ....can....breathe.....when I was pregnant with my other children I knew I wasn't cramping, no bleeding. no weird feelings....i worked in healthcare so i had access to unlimited ultrasounds....(not that I really knew what to look for other than movement, lol)...i threw up several times a day which just made me more aware that I was pregnant...although nauseated I was reassured with the pregnancy....this time...soooo different....I have to have trust and faith....two simple things that are soo hard to have sometimes.....as for now....I will be have to be content with the fact that we are pregnant until proven otherwise.....I want to thank everyone for their kind words of encouragement; I am still unable to comment on my own blog...I think I have the settings messed up somehow...anyway, until next time....Rene'

BFP-Big Fat Positive!!!

Betas are in...we have one surrogate positive with a beta of 73.81......woo hoo....by my ivf calender due date it showed the embryo was formed on Gene's birthday and the baby will be due on our anniversary!! Is that a sign??  Our next hurdle is the ultrasound next week; we need to see if it is "real" and not a chemical pregnancy...not trying to be negative but we only had a 20% chance that we would get pregnant and we now have a 30% chance of a miscarriage! IVF pregnancies have a greater chance of miscarriage so we will try to be positive yet realistic...I still can't believe it...I will enjoy this week and just take it one day at a time...Thank you for all of your prayers and postive thoughts!! Also, my thoughts and prayers are with others that are awaiting results, counting down time or figuring out plan b....Meanwhile...I will try not to put too much stress on Dr. Google!!! A little knowledge is a dangerous thing you know!!!  Better go...you know I'm pregnant now and need my rest, lol!!!

we are home....

We are back!!! Woo hoo! Although I hate to leave India during Diwalli (big festival; lots of partying and gift giving...beautiful lights and fireworks)..I was glad to come home...I missed my children and dogs desperately...(and my bed!)..Before we left we did get to have dinner with Stacey and Lee one night and Gene and I had a fish pedi spa...later when I'm not tired I will update with pics...it was creepily wonderful...they eat off of the dead skin on your feet... basically you dunk your feet in a big aquarium for about 30 minutes.....it just freaked me out when I looked down and my feet were covered in fish....as long as i didn't look I did okay...I missed Bec after she left I needed her there to initiate my sightseeing excursions...gene and I just hung out and watched tv primarily after she left...we were planning on going to taj mahal but were too lazy!! isn't that terrible!!! Poor Gene works 28 out of 30 days a month so I must say he deserved some rest!!!! Overall, it was a great trip...the only thing that would make it better is if we get a BFP in two weeks....we made some new friends and have found a wonderful physician...we are very blessed.....The best part is that if we all have bfp we would all be back for baby pick up around the same time..except for stacey and lee who are on twin baby pickup...for some reason couldn't talk them in to getting on the same schedule as the rest of us with a sibling project...lol....keep us in your thoughts and prayers....

I have no idea what day it is.....

Well, let me catch you up to speed...I tracked Gene's flight...I gave myself trigger shot as soon as I saw his plane was in the air...isn't the internet the bomb???  He got here Thursday night...we had the egg retrieval  and his contribution around 5:00pm and then we waited.....I must give Dr. Shivani credit...there was no comparison with this retrieval vs the mumbai one...I have not taken a single pain pill...I have felt very good....we have went sight seeing....met friends for dinner....Anyway, as you know I had 4-5 follicles prior retrieval...they retrieved 4 eggs..one was immature...3 fertilized...two grade 1 and one grade 2...we are using two surrogates...the embryo transfer was today...now we are in the two week wait..oh, did I mention that we met our surrogates and I was a giant compared to them?? They do not speak english so we had an interpreter...not much was said but they looked terrified!! I wanted to hug them but I was scared they would break!!! lol...they are young..early twenties....cute girls...I hope we didn't make them too nervous!!keep us in your thoughts and prayers....and pray for a BFP!!! (big fat positive)

Day 7-the race is on....

Okay...I am right on schedule...or shall I say...ahead of schedule...my follies are at 20 and I need to take my trigger shot...problem is...gene hasn't left yet...he is in the airport awaiting his flight....21 hr in all...trigger shot is 36 hrs before egg retrieval...his plane to india is supposed to leave 10 minutes after my trigger shot is due...yikes!! I am going to put it off for 30 minutes and check the airlines to see if the flight is en route...omg...this is cutting it way too close...if i take it and the plane ends up not leaving the runway...all is in vain..if i don't take it i can suppress ovulation but my eggs have better chance if we do it sooner than later...quality can be decreased the longer they sit after follicles are mature....geez...nothing like a little stress....actually, this chaos is a good sign...this is how we roll...and in the end, it all works out.......

Day 6-shots, scans and elephants

Well, peeps, I am a little better today....my labwork was "ok" and my scan showed another follicle trying to get in the race, so keep your fingers crossed....we need all of the contenders we can get....my follicles continue to grow...my lead follicle is almost 18mm..yikes!! it needs to slow down just a tiny bit...Gene's 21 hour flight doesn't leave until tomorrow...he will be here thursday 8:15pm delhi time....but the tricky part is i have to have a trigger shot 36 hours prior to egg retrieval to induce ovulation...so, what happens if i trigger and his flight is canceled or delayed??? OMG...I don't want to even think about it...we were not anticipating me responding so well this time..or so fast...geez....i guess it is true what they say, every cycle is different....anyway, after dropping off my meds at the hotel, Bec and I headed to yet another market (we asked Rahul to walk with us as this one made us a bit nervous...we did not stay long)..we then headed to a temple but en route rahul asked us if we would like to ride an elephant...of course we both said yes, heavy ovaries, bloated bellies and all....let me tell you; it is a wee bit more frightening than it looks! all I could imagine was the "saddle seat" that was tied on with a rope; getting loose and us being upside down under its belly!  Then a pack of dogs started following us and I got worried about a stampeded, but that was all in vain as we had an uneventful trip overall...that is until we paid the man...apparently he thought his elephant ride was worth more that usual...so, we followed Rahul's lead and made a run for the car!!! We finally made it to the temple and it was gorgeous!!! Marble intricately carved everywhere, statues encrusted with gold....beautiful, simply beautiful.....of course I don't know how to spell the name of it and they didn't allow any pictures inside the gates...but, mind you, they do not play around at that temple...they have seperate lines for the ladies and the men...and let me put it this way, they do a very thorough job of frisking you before you enter the temple....and that is all i'm going to say about that....I did want to add a thank you to everyone that has been kind enough to post on my blog, especially yesterday when I was down...for some reason I can't post a comment on my own blog...i must not have the settings right, lol...anyway, i appreciate your thoughts and prayers; you don't know how much your comments mean to me....they do lift me up; please keep them coming!!!  take care, need to rest now...my follies have a big show tomorrow so they need their rest....rene'

Nice elephant!!



Woo hoo! Here we go!!!!



Day 5 - only 4 follicles

Well, for the first  time I don't feel like blogging...I don't want to talk about it...I don't want to say it out loud...but, if I did that the purpose of this blog would be jeopordized...i write this to help other couples that are faced with infertility......to say that I am bummed is an understatement......i run the statistics and don't like what i see....normal fertilization rate is 75%...not every follicle always has an egg (remember last time i had 16 follicles and they only got 4 eggs) due to my age quality is likely low....blah, blah blah....of course, all of this I already knew except for the number 4....basically, I need to remain stress free (yeah right!) and pray really hard....ok, I can do that....well, at least the praying part....I have been working on the stress part...a massage, a pedicure...got a hair appointment....i just need to keep busy....maybe I should take Bec's approach...just pretend i'm on holiday....oh, I did forget to mention another issue...this time i'm responding too fast...im 3 days ahead of schedule...and gene will not arrive until late thursday night!! Yikes!! Dr. Shivani is going to try to slow it down...will likely do egg retrieval on friday!!!  Last time they had to really crank up the meds but this time I'm taking less and going faster...go figure...but the problem is if you go too fast then your eggs dont mature properly and they don't fertilize...yeah...something else to worry about....I guess I will take it one day at a time...at least she is not making me take that painful im injection like last time...so far, only subcutaneous (in my belly fat!)...that is a plus for having a chunky tummy....makes the injections much easier....ok..my pity part is over and I guess i will get ready for tomorrow...of course, Dr. Shivani only counts the "good follicles" ; she said there are a few more but they are not big enough...can't wait to see what kind of mischief my follicles get into tonight!!  rene'

Day 4 shots/relaxation

It was decided that today should be a day of rest, it is sunday after all...so, after breakfast and shots went to the. top of the hotel for a swim...it was lovely....if I closed my eyes I could pretend I was on vaction and not a human pin cushion over 15,000 miles away from my family.....I miss my family....I can't wait until Gene gets here Thursday....of course by that time my ovaries will probably be huge and painful and I won't feel like doing anything and he will be ready to go sightseeing, I'm sure!!! I have found him 3 places to buy mocha so maybe that will make it up to him...I can't remember finding a place at Mumbai that served mochas...that is his addiction; mine is diet dr pepper and I'm afraid that is nowhere to be found in India that I know of...But, i always look; you know, just in case....Bec and I went to an awesome Italian restaraunt tonight...they had mochas and beef...woo hoo!! Almost felt like home.....I can't wait to take Gene there....My internet was down for quite a long time earlier....and that was not a good feeling.....the IT guy from Svelte came up to check the computer and he appeared to be scared to enter my room...apparently bec and I are intimidating to some men...lol...oh, I wanted to mention the two things that happened on this trip that caused me great anxiety...1st, I was in the elevator...the lights went out and it started crashing toward the ground with an Indian family screaming the whole time (apparently a brief blackout..didn't last but a couple of minutes), and 2nd, the lights in my room seem to pop on in the middle of the night....scares the crap out of me...(apparently safety feature after yet another blackout-which is much better than an intruder, I must say). Anyway, tomorrow is the big day...a new shot and ultrasound and lab....hopefully all will go well...

Day 3 shots, shopping and new friends

This is the outside of Svelte...did I mention it sits on top of a mall???

Inside shot of Select Citywalk mall

security outside of our hotel

Today was pretty uneventful as far as medical issues. I shot myself twice and then proceded to work on some of my laundry.  After Bec got back from her appointment we ventured out on foot and went to the mall and she introduced me to the world of massage...Bad, bad girl....I am hooked...she is to blame for my new addiction....as you can see, I am roughing it in this third world country....After our massage and brief shopping, we met up with SCI liason Meg, her husband Bob and their beautiful son Toby for drinks....of course, Bec and I were limited to just one...but still, good times were had by all. It was great to finally meet one of the people instrumental in us choosing Dr. Shivani. We have been very pleased so far. I continue to be impressed by Dr. Shivani and her staff daily.  I hope that we can get together with Meg and her family again before they have to leave Dehli. I will include some night shots outside our hotel but they did not turn out very well. Maybe you can still get the general idea.  So far, no plans for tomorrow. Monday will be the exciting day. I will get the painful, as Bec says, "Bum" shot added to my regime and some labwork and maybe an ultrasound, too. We also are going to try to see the accupuncturist as well. We did call to set up an appointment but for some reason, they were unable to understand us on the telephone.....FYI, don't ever use the word "box"  or "rooting" in a sentence when talking with an australian...apparently they have different meanings over there than in the usa...trust me...been there, done that...in fact, they can be offensive....hmm..who knew???

Bob, Meg, and Toby

directly across from our hotel....

Day 2 shots and shopping

Wating in the lobby for our car to arrive.....

I gave myself my injections today and didn't see Dr. Shivani. I will go back to clinic on the 17th for an estradiol level and i'm hoping an ultrasound. I'm taking 400 iu of gonal f daily and I withdraw this from a 300 gonal f pen and withdraw the excess into an insulin syringe which results in 400....i do appreciate the frugality of Dr. Shivani as I would have simply just paid for a 400 gonal f pen and used the included needle..cost goes up significantly with each dosage increase...i was freaked out at about 2 am when I realized I had 300 gonal f instead of 400; i emailed Dr. Shivani and she immediately emailed me back explaining why I had the 300 dose pens...wow! When does she sleep?? She was very nice and explained to withdraw the excess and even offered to pay for a taxi for me to come back to clinic for another demonstration if I didn't understand.... I have started to have a little fullness in my ovary/abdomen area and a little lower back discomfort and some breast tenderness...I hope that is a good sign!! I don't remember having any symptoms this early last stimulation as I was a slow responder in that one!!!

In the afternoon, Bec and I went shopping to some local markets...I loved them!! Got to haggle a little and I finally bought a sari!! Maybe I should wear it to the airport to meet Gene next week....lol....also bought some good luck elephant/stuff...would be cute to decorate a nursery with...just saying!!!!  (Especially since it is illegal in India to find out the sex of the baby...indian elephants go with boys and girls!!! 

Watching him pack up my new sari!!!

  Was going to order room service but decided I would rather have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich....so bec and I headed to the market for a few groceries....then back to the hotel for a little rest..after all, my eggies need to be pampered!!!

Let the shots begin!!!

Started my injections today.....2 in the abdomen...not so bad....growth hormone and 400 of gonal F daily until I go back in 4 days....then an estriadiol level and any necessary adjustments or addition to the meds...Oh, the jet lag....i'm awake when I should be asleep and asleep when I should be awake...but, I did get the biggest box of meds as compared to bec's....she was jealous I could tell, lol....wanted to do a bit of shopping but decided I was too tired......we also went to lotus temple...it was pleasant...had to remove my shoes though and I did not care for that...all i could think of was the number of bacteria and parasites I could acquire through my feet...a little knowledge is a dangerous thing!!! I will attempt to upload some photos later...I'm not very computer saavy so I can't make any promises!! The bargain of the day was a personal pan pizza, lemonade, garlic bread and piece of chocolate cake for 220 rupees...(about $2.50)...it was delicious!!! Think I will nap for a bit....Rene'

I made it!!! Look out Dehli!!

It's official...I have arrived...last night at 8:15pm to be exact...pretty uneventful flights...about 20 minutes before boarding at each connection ( i had 3)...of course there was an irate passenger on  my newark-dehli flight and I was hoping to see a air marshall in action but to no avail...i had the video camera ready and everything...everything went smooth..i enjoyed continental much better than air france...the seats seemed more comfortable and a little bigger...bec and rahul met me at the airport...somehow i missed customs totally and popped outside where the taxis were...i totally missed bec and rahul...they had a sign and everything!!!but i called rahuls cell and they were right behind me...apparently I'm a much better solo international traveler than I gave myself credit for...it was great to meet Bec...I'm so thankful she is here with me! Although it is my first time in Dehli it feels familiar and comfortable...very similar to mumbai except not so crowded and the streets and traffic so far has been much better!  After breakfast and a swim and a brief tour of the mall, I went to isis for my appointment. Dr.Shivani was so nice and even prettier in person!! They drew some labwork and my ultrasound showed a AFC of 7 (in mumbai it was 9 on baseline)...but that's much better than the one in Jackson that showed 4!!!  Of course, I still wish I had the October 2010 AFC as it was 17...I will go back tomorrow to go over labwork and start my injections!! She wants to check my hormone levels before starting...I am glad of that, but...I always dread the results...I'm not used to failing tests, remember??  I must give the bathroom at Isis a thumbs up as well..remember the "hole" experience at Rotunda....Overall a positive experience so far, except that I miss my family terribly...we did get to skype last night but sometimes that just makes me miss them more....but I am so thankful for technology right now!!I'm having some jet lag....got to get on dehli time soon so I can enjoy the sights!!!  Rene'

omg...it's about time...

I can't believe that monday I will flying on the big bird...alone...omg...i don't even go to the mall alone...what was I thinking? lol....of course, gene will join me at some point.....I'm just having a minor nervous breakdown...how will he and the kids make it without me? Or worse yet, what if they make it better without me??? Ugh...I'm not sure I thought this through...i was much braver when it wasn't so close....I'm not ready...but, ready or not, Dehli here I come...At least Bec will be there and we will finally get to meet...of course, I will be looking forward to downsizing on the vitamin regime...you would not believe the pills i've been popping...it's funny the things you do to have a baby.....lol....im planning on continuing the accupuncture while in India...that should be interesting....well, better go, havent even packed yet....Rene'

3rd accupuncture

Ok...so it really didn't hurt as bad this time....but it didn't seem to help as much either...there was one exciting moment when she had to move the needle in my calf because my ankle felt like it was on fire...she usually puts a heat lamp on my feet but this time she put a lamp over my abdoment as well.....incubating my eggs i suppose....dehli approaches....i will get on the big bird and fly away in a week and one -half...i so am not ready...i need to pack...make a list...have a nervous breakdown...but, time marches on whether i am ready or not...i can't wait to see how many eggs we get this time...i want to see if all of the supplements and vitamins i have stuffed in my body make a difference....well, time for bed...till next time... rene'

2nd Accupuncture

I survived the second accupunture. It was still painful (just the initial stick) but better than last time I suppose...the ears are the worst...I decided to forego the electro portion of it...just not sure about that for fertility but I definately think it could work for other ailments...Still taking tons of vitamins and supplements....about to get everything squared away for next month I believe...little "fires" keep cropping up that we have to put out, but otherwise, I guess things are going as well as can be expected...there has been alot of stress over the last couple of weeks and I am trying to concentrate on the egg retrieval and staying "destressed"... my 3rd grader asked me what they were going to do with my eggs when they got them out and I told him a scaled down version and he said "that's just weird"....I'm sure all of the 3rd grade parents appreciate hearing about our surrogacy adventures through their children, lol....I am now on the pill and not only am I irritable and mean from the dhea but now we get to throw in emotional/crying with the estrogen of the pill....geez....nothing like a mean crybaby, lol....everyone asks me why we are going to india and are we going on a mission trip...I just laugh and tell them that we are not that good of people, lol and that the mission we are on is to have a baby....that usually buys them enough time to get their jaw off the ground where they have dropped it...really, you shouldn't ask a question you don't want to know the answer to, lol....well, if nothing else, at least we are entertaining....till next time...rene'

accupuncture

Well, I had my first accupunture experience last week....let's just say it was a bit more painful than I anticipated....of course, everything associated with infertility has been that way so far (both emotionally and physically) so I don't know why I thought this would be different...I'm going for round two tomorrow...and she plans on stepping up the game a little with some electroaccupunture therapy.....not so sure about that one...getting stuck with needles then attached to wires and shocked...hmm...i just hope it doesn't fry my eggs!!! Just sounds like more pain and more money to me, lol....but seriously, I will do whatever it takes to facilitate this journey...I can't wait to see if all of my supplement/vitamin popping and electroshocking improve my egg quality/quantity....again, only time will tell.....

How is Delhi in October?

Looks like October will be the month. Got to tweak a few things and then make some reservations....I pray this is the one!!!  Latest labs from fertility clinic not so hot...nothing like paying alot of money to be told you are old...well, duh....they drew a lot of lab and put it in some kind of  formula that says we have a "FAIR" chance of conceiving...apparently they do not know who they are talking too...I have never been "fair" in my life; I have always been above average and i do not appreciate the slur, lol...but, c'est la vie...I'm still taking more vitamins/supplements than I ever thought possible..but at least it makes me feel like I'm doing something, you know? I am about to schedule some accupuncture for infertility/stress relief...it has been highly recommended by several doctors (except the one I'm married too-I think he thinks I have a screw loose somewhere; of course right now if they told me to wear a purple dress for 10 days straight and I would have a baby,  guess what the weeks attire would be?) I think accupuncture will be great if for nothing else but to relieve stress...a little pricey stress relief, but...we do what we have to do...I think I can write that off on taxes as well, but I have to double check on that....if anyone has any thoughts or input would love to hear it...and if anyone is going to be in Delhi in October, please message me.........Rene'

plans to make plans.....

We've decided to use SCI for our next surrogacy adventure. Nothing against the Rotunda, we just would like to see a different part of India and Dr. Shivani has a great reputation. She and her staff are very quick with emails and I have been very pleased so far. Now to narrow down a time to go. Personally I would rather go sooner than later...once I make my mind up about something I want it done yesterday...Dr. Shivani has sent us multiple emails and seems to really keep up with communication and any questions that I have. Now to get out Gene's hospital call schedule, er schedule, and wound care schedule and try to work around that. Unfortunately, I will have to make the first leg of the journey alone which will be a new experience for me and then he will join me...but I am glad that he will be staying home with the kids...it took them a long time to get over our last trip...they missed us so....I have the best in-laws in the world...they agreed to come to our house (7 hr drive) and stay with the kids until we get back...that way the kids will not have to miss school and get to sleep in their own beds!! I think that will really help my stress factor!!!  I was so worried last time because 3 different people were keeping my kids and I was halfway around the world...very stressful to say the least....I now feel at peace with our decision to change clinics and hope for a new start...now that I know my kids are taken care of it is like a burden has been lifted....
I've been taking dhea (supposedly good for old eggs-side effects can be facial hair, aggressiveness and irritability-lucky Gene!!),tons of vitamins and supplements..when I get to India they are going to add growth hormone to my protocol this time...but, unfortunately I will not get taller; just wider.....Gene may have a gorilla for a wife when this is finished!!!  Rene'

clock is ticking.....

Had appt with new RE yesterday...we liked him much much better....he even said he would attempt to let me try to get pregnant myself but it was a long long shot and our odds are much better with surrogacy...we would be his first couple to go to india for surrogacy.... but at least he is willing to help us with the stimulation....due to my "advanced age" time is of the essence and we have got to get started now....so looks like a month of birth control pills are in my near future and another long flight on the big bird....i am interested in trying myself but i don't want to waste what eggs i have left....so we will probably do another surro attempt and maybe in the interim try to thicken my lining although we all know that is a hail mary attempt....now to figure out if we want to cycle at same indian clinic or try one in a different region in india....would be nice to try in dehli or hyderabad....anyway, the clock is ticking so we have got to get going....the hardest thing is finding someone to watch my kids while we are gone as they are in school right now....anyway, we need to hurry my antral follicle count keeps decreasing as time goes on.....hopefully will make a decision by the end of the week....rene'

We have another appointment with a different RE in Jackson in 2 weeks. Hopefully we will bond with him better. He has come highly recommended by several colleagues so I will keep my fingers crossed that he is the one, lol...no new news for now..and the wait continues....

more decisions....

well...we went and talked to the guy in jackson....not a warm fuzzy visit for sure....he will work with the doctors in india with them being the lead physician...we would basically have to do all of the communication though...ugh..he definitely did not recommend freezing and shipping the embryos.....now to decide if we need to use rotunda again or try someone new...lots of decisions...i really like my re in houston...i just don't want to be away from my kids that long...ugh....more decisions...and the clock is ticking, if you know what i mean....i believe i know less than i did before the appointment...

decisions....

Waiting on our appointment in Jackson...wish it would hurry up and get here...I am most anxious to get his opinion on things...hopefully he will agree to start the stimulation process here....who knows? He may recommend freezing the embryos and shipping....either way, I won't know until august....still taking vitamins...feel more like my normal self now...whatever that is....I'm just ready to get this show on the road.....i feel like my life is on hold until we get through this.....

Now What???

Now to figure out our next move. Definately going to try again...but, how? Spoke with our RE in Houston; he does not recommend frozen embryos..says it will decrease our odds by 60%...if you only have a 20% chance to begin with and then decrease it by 60%......doesn't sound too good...so, I guess I will be going back to India....earliest would be in August....this time I will definately start the cycle in the usa...that would decrease my time in India to a week or less....now, the question is...do I start my cycle in Houston with the RE I know (that would mean spending 3 weeks away from my kids again, ugh...) or do we take a chance and try a new RE in Jackson which would mean that I could start my stim from home and only be gone from my kids for a week...but, that is dependent on if the guy in Jackson will agree to work with the indian doctors....decisions...I still want to know why I only had 4 eggs...my RE in Houston brought up a good point..he said that if my ovaries were so heavy they were kissing they were full of eggs at that point...so, it comes down to poor technique vs early release of eggs....I believe that I released my eggs early and there were only 4 left...I guess I will never know but Dr. Chauhan did make me feel better...he encouraged us not to give up and that we had a good chance for success....my medication protocol just needed to be tweaked....Dr. Chauhan is my RE in Houston (he also happens to be from Inda and speaks 3 languages-he would have no problems communicating with the dr's in India; that is definately a plus!!!!)  Anyway, we will keep our eyes on the prize and try to not let our setbacks pull us down. We are taking our vitamins and trying to devise a plan....at least we have a little time to think....Rene'

BFN (Big Fat Negative)

Received disappointing results this morning. Our surrogate is not pregnant. beta numbers 4.96. (0-4 is not pregnant). They will recheck numbers tomorrow but medically this is not a viable pregnancy. Numbers should have been much higher (at least triple digits I would think)...so had possibly a chemical pregnancy at some point...ugh....this was not totally unexpected but as we have no frozen embryos this really hurts...will have to regroup and proceed with plan b....whatever that is.....of course, although sad, I'm starting to get angry and that is never good for anyone or anything that gets in my way....this is a  setback but I am not ready to give up.....we will get through this....dr says i have to give my body 6 weeks to heal and by law India does not allow re-entry soon that 2 mths from last departure...so that gives me time to get a plan together....also, this last ivf was not totally in vain...we learned some things...1) we make great quality embryos (just not many) and I would rather have a few great quality than a truckload of crappy, 2) I need high dose stimulation from day one, 3) my trigger shot may need to be adjusted, 4) some things just don't come easy to everybody.....so, guess I better get busy emailing our doctor and coming up with a plan b...till next time...Rene'

2WW

For those of you that don't know we are in the 2WW (two week wait)...some like to call it (PUPO-pregnant untill proven otherwise!) It is killing me!!! This is so out of my control and I am not handling it well......our first hurdle is monday or tuesday....we will learn if the pregnancy test is positive or negative.....if positive, then the next hurdle will be the beta numbers multiplying and increasing at a steady rate...then the next hurdle will be the ultrasound to reveal a heartbeat...it is common in ivf pregnancies to have just empty sacs without a hearbeat.....not trying to be pessimistic but must try to remain realistic....if the pregnancy test is negative, looks like it will be back to shots and hormones for me and another trip to india....so, we will prepare for the worst and hope for the best.....please keep the prayers coming.....we welcome all thoughts and prayers...till next time....rene'

time to catch up

Sorry I haven't posted in awhile but I have been under the weather and jet lagged.....but at least we are finally at home!!!  Ok, to catch you up to date. Last Thursday we went to clinic and learned that 3 out of 4 eggs fertilized. (woo hoo!). And best of all they were all grade A quality. That is the best score they could have. Things are looking good so far. They did not recommend putting two in one and just one in another surrogate. They recommended placing all in one surrogate for optimum results. Looking at it from a medical standpoint we went with the advice of the professionals. I must say, the doctors were enthusiastic about 3 grade A embryos; they were all smiles and advised we had a good chance for success. That helped my feelings...I had been a little down since the egg retrieval...I had expected many more egss....Last  Tuesday they spoke like we would likely be repeating the retrieval and that they wanted that done asap with lots of testing on me (yuck!!). Apparently, I'm not getting any younger......India doesn't allow any one from the usa to re-enter before a two month time period....I would have to wait 6 weeks anyway for my body to heal before another IVF protocol could be initiated.  We did not meet the surrogate...we just know that she is young (approx 20-22 years old..i can't remember exact...has a 2 year old child and apparently an awesome uterus!!!).  Personally, I like it better like this...I need limited information as I am waaaay too obsessive!!! She is a little talller and weighs a little more than me (which is good;  Gene weighed 10 pounds and both my kids were approx 8 pounds each). We saw a picture of her and she is pretty (I know that doesn't matter, but you know, just wanted to throw that in there!!). Also, to note while we were at the clinic a group of surrogates came in laughing and smiling; all obvious pregnant and happy. They were approx 20-30 years old and all looked very happy and content. That made me feel good to see the friendships and contentment they displayed. Our surrogate will have a pregnancy test on the 27th so we should know if we have a "chemical" pregnancy by the day after that. You are told not to get excited until they make it until 12 weeks...apparently there is a high miscarriage rate in "test tube" babies....often the pregnancy test is positive but the ultrasound shows an empty sac of nothing without a heartbeat...But, we will just have to take it one day at a time and for now be happy with the fact that we possibly have 3 babies forming....they did send us pictures of the embryos and it is amazing that those few cells are a baby....or at least potentially a baby....they have to adhere in the uterus and get nourishment to grow.....we still have a long way to go but are definately on our way!!! It has definately been an adventure so far!!!

still waiting

today we just hung out in the room and convalesced; i was still under the weather...Gene is a little better...I am more whiny, achy and constipated....we leave tomorrow night and I have not had any action from the 10 pericolace i've taken....i hope i don't blow over international waters!!! You know the airplane bathroom is not for me!!!!  I dread the flight home....we go in the morning to see if any of our eggs fertilized...keep your fingers crossed and say a prayer...we will likely only have enough for one surrogate but it just takes one, right? The first leg of our adventure is drawing to a close...I miss my babies at home....I wish they could have come! I think it would have been a great experience for them....just to see the poverty and the homeless children begging for money and food....make them appreciate their lives more....I know it makes me appreciate mine and makes me thankful for what I do have....till tomorrow..rene and gene

egg retrieval

Had the egg retrieval yesterday.....ok until back at hotel...I really thought it just be like a few period cramps....more painful that I anticipated....took the tylenol they gave and that did help but only lasted about two hours...my stomach is so swollen i look 5 months pregnant....although i had about 15 follicles they only retrieved 4 eggs total...and they have no answers for as to why....said the others were empty....we will find out thursday how many fertilized....odds are, there will be another egg retrieval in our future....i spoke with another couple that they gave 10% odds to and they retrieved 17 immature eggs from her; 7 mature with 5 of those fertilizing...they placed all 5 in one surrogate and resulted in one live birth and they are waiting to take her back to england...she was born in march and they still don't have the paperwork ready yet (feel bad about griping that it will take us 3 weeks to get back to us with baby)....hopefully we have 4 babies growing in a petri dish right now...we will convalesce today...Gene has pulled a muscle in his shoulder/back and is competing with me for nurturing and attention. Too bad I'm the only one here to give it to him!! He is on Ibuprofen and I'm on Tylenol and we are going to take to the bed to get well....don't worry, he can still work the remote, lol.....FYI, if anyone has an egg retrieval schedule I would bring a pair of those girdle panties, I think they would be great right now for support...and if you come to India, bring Febreze and lysol, I'm just saying......Gene has still not received his proof for attending the CME last week but I assure you, he has followed up on it...I think he is about to resort to email....that will at least help our travel expenses for tax purposes...better go now...time to rest....

getting closer....

Yesterday our scan revealed a few more follicles and trigger shot was scheduled for 11:00 pm last night. Had some blood drawn but no more shots other than trigger!! woo hoo!! Will not miss those!!!!  An interesting fact to note was that now my ovaries are "kissing". (touching)...they are apparently big and heavy now...I must admit, I am aware of them now....Looks favorable that we will be able to have two surrogates as originally planned!! Of course, not every egg will be mature and not every egg will fertilize so there is no way to predict how many embryos we will have.  But, the doctor reports that I have a good number for age 38. Gee thanks, I think...felt like an underhanded compliiment, lol.....Last night we went to hard rock cafe and finally had some beef!!! It was great by Mumbai standards...not so great by American standards but it felt like we were back in the usa for a little while...also had the first french fries since we got here...and ice cream brownie sundae....expensive but well worth it...funny thing is an airplane ticket from mumbai to delhi was cheaper than our meal last night...how funny is that....the trigger shot was easy....just another in the belly....now the countdown begins until the retrieval in the morning.....the hardest thing is trying to drink 5 liters of water....im not doing so well with that....yesterday was terrible downpour of rain but today although overcast no rain yet....we may branch out to theater across the street for a movie tonight if we get bored....till next time...rc

More scans....more shots.....

Had another scan today....follicles are getting bigger...not big enough yet for retrieval so we go back in the morning for another scan...hopefully things will be the right size and i will be able to get trigger shot....that would put the egg retrieval for monday...otherwise it will just be a weekend full of shots for me with another scan on monday...im now beginning to have a little pelvis fullness...the scan was a bit uncomfortable today....after the scan, got my 3 shots and we were on our way for a little sightseeing...
     We went to the Prince of Wales museum...it was okay I suppose...I had a little episode of dizziness and I tired easily....of course it didn't help that there was no air conditioning-only fans!!  We did a little window shopping and people watching...it rained all day but we wore our raincoats and went on about our business....our taxi driver waits for us all day....so patient...reads his romance novel and naps....he admitted to us today that he likes wine but that his wife was not allowed to drink it!  I told him that I needed to meet her but i don't think he will allow that!! I would be a bad influence I'm afraid!!! I'm craving beef big time!! We are planning on going to Hard Rock Cafe tomorrow....I have checked their menu and they have usda prime beef!! woo hoo!! I am so there!!! Thats our plans for tomorrow night at least....I can't wait...Rene'

mumbai monsoon

Had another ultrasound yesterday...a few more follicles and they are getting a little bit bigger..will get another scan tomorrow...3 more shots yesterday and today...will hopefully know more about our retrieval date after tomorrow..did learn something today from the taxi driver though...I am considered a "big" wife in india....meaning I am older than Gene...his eyes widened after we told him our ages...he said that in india they only had "small" wives..meaning younger; that indian men never married older women...geez..he did also say that he had an arranged marriage as that was better...that when you married for love you fought too much....of course, he's probably right! lol! It continues to rain....some rickshaws were stalled in the high water earlier...till next time.

more shots....

Today we went back to the old clinic to meet the head doctor, Dr. Allabhadia. We had a conference there with him and Dr. Somyha Remish to discuss any questions or concerns. Gene gave a backup contribution today but was disappointed in the collection room as it was basically a closet with a stretcher with no reading material. Remember, they are in between clinics right now and some things have already been packed up/ We received the two surrogate profiles although there has been some debate as to whether we will have enough embryos for two so we will just have to wait and see. We won't know anything untill egg retrieval day...which is tentatively set as June 13. Can't tell much difference as far as side effects go with the additional shot except that I have been nauseated and can't stand to smell or see the indian food in the exec lounge. I have received 17 subcutaneous injections in abdomen and 2 intramuscular injections in buttock so far. Belly is a little bruised but fine...the butt hurts...We did manage to find a good shopping center with a movie theater with english current movies...we have the new xmen movie as a to do on our list!!!  Of course, my dear husband has found a way to write off part of our trip...we attended an indian medical association conference this afternoon....we were the only westerners in the lot!! We got lots of stares but it was an informative conference on lung cancer. Only cost $350 rupees each (roughly $9) and we got real indian buffet food. It was very interesting I must say. They have them every Tuesday and Thursday and we plan on going back on Thursday. Cool!  Now we have to go try something for dinner...hmm..indian or dominoes?

Monday June 6, 2011

Yesterday was somewhat uneventful...went to another shopping mall...there was a blackout for about 45 minutes that is apparently quite common in Mumbai.  Monsoon is officially here...there has been pretty much continuous rain for the last few days. I personally like it better...it was way too hot before....Today we went to the clinic for a scan; only 10-11 follicles seen. She is now going to crank up the hormones. She increased my dose and has now added a IM shot. That one is a little rough and has to go in the buttock. Surely now my devil horns shall begin to grow....poor Gene....I was disappointed that there weren't more, but the doctor assured me she had been taking it slow with the hormones so that I wouldn't be hyperstimulated which can lead to complications. She reassured me that 10 is a good number, but I am not convinced. Tomorrow Gene gets to give a contribution to be frozen for backup; just in case we have issues on egg retrieval day. That will be done at the old clinic and we will get to meet Dr. Allabhadia (the medical director and reason we chose this clinic). We will then go back to the new clinic for my injections. The next day will we have another scan. So that is our life in Mumbai...I must say, it's a lot different being on the patient side of healthcare instead of the provider.  Oh, we did have another experience today...taking our clothes to the laundry...I'm suspicious our driver got a finders fee out of the deal that came out of our pocket, but it was still a lot cheaper than the hotel....

So it begins.....

Okay, so it took me a few days to get our blog started...but, you know, everything in India takes longer than in the USA.....lol...let me start at the beginning. We have known since before we married that we would require the use of a surrogate to extend our family. I had a uterine ablation a few years back which essentially fried my uterus...making it too thin for a pregnancy to be sustained...I have two healthy children from a previous marriage that required no fertility treatments. But, this time is different. Need a little help from technology and a lot of help from God. Apparently age 38 is old by reproductive standards and makes the surrogacy thing a little more interesting. But, that being said, anyone that has ever told me I couldn't do something has ended up eating those words....lol....Why India you ask? Well, pricing of course and the fact that you can use up to two surrogates at one time (the one thing that can be done to increase the odds)...also the surrogates are housed and followed by a nutritionist and social worker for the duration of the pregnancy. The surrogate has to sacrifice being with her family to help us extend ours. If we knew that it would only take one attempt the us would have been an okay option I guess but we've been told it usually takes several attempts and we can get those in India for the price of one in the US. We have received many raised eyebrows and both negative and positive feedback. But, as I like to say, don't judge me until you've walked a mile in my shoes.  I have always taken for granted being able to have a baby, until now. In fact, my whole life, if I wanted something i worked and worked until I found a way to get it. I have always believed in the adage if you want something bad enough it can be done. I still believe that. Nonetheless, I have started this blog to help others like ourselves. We would have never had the courage to do something like this without all of the information, blogs and emails from others that have made the journey before us. So, for that, I would like to say thank you to those people.

May 29 2011
Headed to Mumbai, India for surrogacy!! This is my first real international flight (i don't count aeromexico to mexico to a resort, lol!) Gene has lived in Dominica so he is well versed in third world countries I will be happy to follow his lead!!! The flight was uneventful with the exception of the disgusting bathroom on the first connection...enjoyed watching other passengers and trying to guess where they were from and what their purpose in India was!  I did look a little silly with tubes sticking out of my ears for pressure relief...but they sooo work! I forgot to put them in for one landing and was suddenly reminded by excruciating pain in both ears!! Definately recommend if you have ear pressure issues....

May 31, 2011
After an extended layover in Paris and out $35 for a water, diet pepsi, yogurt and muffin we finally arrived in Mumbai at approx 4:am. I must admit, at that time of day in a foreign country, we were more than willing to pay $26 for a taxi to take us one mile.  Even at that time, traffic is wild and crazy, horns blaring and drivers going madly all over the road...there are no designated lanes...they just honk and swerve...kind of reminds me of myself at age 16!  As pointed out by fellow blogger Distant Miracle-the Marriott was like an oasis in a desert. After a search of our taxi by security and a sniffing dog we were then dropped out at the front door. There our bags when through an xray scanner much like the airport; we walked through a detector and then I being female went into a curtained area to be handscanned by a female scanner and Gene gets to spread eagle it in front of God and everybody. We get to do this each time we enter the hotel. Don't get me wrong; this makes me feel better or at least a little more secure.  After a few hours of sleep it took us the rest of the day to buy an indian cell phone....that was an experience in itself...apparently Indian english is different than Mississippi english!

June 1, 2011
It begins!!! First day at the clinic was quite an experience. We are using the Rotunda Centre for Human Reproduction and they are about to open a new clinic. This means we go back and forth between the old clinic and new clinic for different things (payment, blood draw, appointments). Fortunately, Gene made sure we located the clinic by rickshaw yesterday so that we wouldn't be late today. That was a great plan. Alot of rickshaw drivers (a rickshaw is like a suped up golf cart/taxi) speak little to no english. We had to write everything down and he stopped for many sets of directions but somehow we made it. We decided today to take a taxi and I had forgotten how great air conditioning is!!! Rickshaws are open and it is hotter and more humid than any Mississippi summer I could remember! Anyway, our doctor is great and I she speaks fluent English so that is a plus. I just assumed everyone at the clinic spoke english. That is not the case. The doctor told me to empty my bladder before the ultrasound and had me go into what looked like a locker room with two non english speaking helpers. Although the facility is brand new and not finished yet the bathroom did not look like ours at home. I thought these two little indian women were going to scrub me down but I then decided i was supposed to pee in a recessed toilet and wash off with a sprayer. In other words pee in a hole, no toilet paper and use a water hose sprayer....hmm...luckily i was prepared for this and drew out my handy roll of charmin and flushed it down the hole.  That done, we proceeded with the ultrasound. I was glad I wore a dress that day and that's all I'm going to say about that. The ultrasound was really no big deal...was just disappointed that there was only 9 total follicles as there were 17 on our last ultrasound in Houston. I was reminded by the Doctor that I have been suppressed with the birth control pills and it is her intention to stimulate all 17 seen previously. That helped my feelings some. Gene had two tubes of blood drawn while I had several. Again, no big deal. My bleeding time was a pain; two fingersticks and lots of squeezing my finger then that was over. Next I received my shots in the abdomen (gonal F and gonapeptyl). Honestly, that has been the simplest of everything we have done so far!! They were not painful at all and soon we were on our way to go back to the old clinic for payment and then to the market to sightsee.  Overall it was a good day.

June 2, 2011
Second day at clinic for lab results. Only lab back was estradiol but dr reports that it was perfect! Good news! Got my second set of injections and a refridgerated pack for the meds and we were on our way back to the hotel. We don't have to go back to clinic until Monday June 6th for ultrasound. From their she will adjust my medication dosage,
Branched out to mall. It's like an alternate universe. There was nike, levis and pizza hut but always with a twist. But, it made me feel closer to home. 

June 3, 2011
Went to elephanta caves via boat. Very cool I thought. It rained the night before and was therefore not as hot as yesterday. We got a taxi driver for the day and he slept in the car until we got back around 4:00. We bought a few souvenirs and bargained a bit. Gene later said that we were offered some suspicious grassy looking substance at the Gateway to India but I thought the guy just wanted to take our picture. I'm too busy telling people "no, I don't want to buy it" and keeping a death grip on my purse to notice anything else. Someone elses blog mentioned not wearing open toed shoes. I think that is a great idea. Some of the streets are very level but others not so much. Also, FYI...no shorts...western women get stared at enough without showing skin...in fact, it's a little unnerving...I wish I would have brought my clear contacts (i have naturally hazel eyes) instead of my shocking blue ones....Gene even got a few stares yesterday at the mall when he wore shorts, but I do believe unlike myself, he enjoyed it!!  As far as the meds go, no major side effects yet. A little episode of dizziness about 40 minutes after injections and a little breast tendeness but that is it. So far, so good. In fact, I think I have been nicer that usual although Gene does not agree.

June 4, 2011

Did I mention that we upgraded to the executive suite? All that really means is that our internet is included and we have access to the executive lounge upstairs that keeps soft drinks, water and light snacks stocked. From 6-9 there is also free alcohol and some hot snacks (usually vegetables and chicken or fish). It is actually very good and we do not have to buy dinner as it is very filling. The best part is there are several newspapers to read and flat screen tv's with nice plush chairs/couches; this gives us a safe place to hang out beside our hotel room. But, having unlimited access to alcohol is not always a good thing. I had two drinks at the lounge last night and I saw them again about 4:00 am...and the chicken...not so good the second time...then...the diarrhea...OMG....thoughts flashed through my head...alcohol induced...side effect of med vs delhi belly (india's equivalent of montezuma revenge)....i also felt very tired and achy today...glad we decided to stay in...gene is feeling great...we have eaten and drank pretty much the same thing...have rationalized it out to not likely being delhi belly but I did take some medication we brought with us just in case.  Of course nausea vomiting and diarrhea is a side effect of one of the ivf meds and also of the doxycycline we are taking for malaria prevention, so who knows??? As long as it;s not delhi belly I am happy. FYI, as far as alcohol intake is concerned...no big deal for me as my eggs are already formed and shouldn't effect them...effects the male more that the female as he is constantly making new sperm. I will not be partaking in any more though. Don't need anything extra thrown in my body for now. Okay, that pretty much takes you up to date on our trip so far. Until tomorrow....