Life with MJ

Sorry I haven't blogged lately. I'm still suffering from months of  lack of sleep but fortunately, last night, for the first time EVER...MJ slept all night...my baby is growing up...She is 4 mths old now...adjusted age about 8 weeks...she continues to bring joy to my life daily...she is such a precious child...we are so blessed...as long as we hold her...she never cries...therefore...she never cries, lol....

I'm trying to decide if I want to continue this blog or not...it was created to helped other couples by blogging our journey and hardships along the way...I may just start another one involving all members of our immediate family and let this one be idle...Idle that is, until round 2. Although most anxious for round 2, I dread the stress.....we have a limited number of embryos left...the nicu and FRRO visit a memory yet still fresh in my mind...I guess I just want to relish in the one normal aspect of this journey so far....just loving MJ...enjoying her presence...

Speaking of normal...we finally had her baby shower last week...her first big outing...it went very well...finally, we got to experience one "normal" pregnancy/new baby experience...it was nice for a change...got to experience it first hand...not by email or phone call....

MJ is 10 pounds 5 ounces now..WOW!! She has one more visit with the cardiologist (hopefully we will be able to stop the Lasix then)...her reflux is aggravating but manageable with Zantac...she appears to be hitting her developmental milestones on target with her adjusted age...finally she has some fat rolls!! She has lost a lot of her hair...headbands with bows are her best friend...she smiles constantly and is always moving and cooing...what a joy...what a journey...

Now for some pics...some are from the baby shower...some are just MJ chilling...

 

Isn't the cake cute????

April 27, 2013

 

look at those cheeks now!!

 

Ok..just half a smile...

 

MJ Update

well..MJ is due to be born in 4 more days..wow...so hard to believe...she is 9 weeks old and swinging in the swing in our living room...looks like a little angel...but, trust me...her lungs continue to develop!! She now cries with tears and is starting to get some volume!! She is on two antibiotics for a uti..that gives her the bellyache at times...but overall, she continues to improve daily..i was hoping the breathing treatments would soon be over but I feel that she will need them for a while longer...not so much due to pneumonia but more so due to her prematurity...she takes about 2 oz every 3 hours but sometimes she has to take a break in between the first and second ounce...can't wait to see how much weight she has gained...last doctor visit she weighed 4 pounds 12 oz!!

She is starting to wake up more now and is using her hands more and more. She gets more interactive each day!  I was just thinking about all we have gone through to get to this point...and everything MJ has went through...3 egg retrievals from me with 2 negative results and one miscarriage...1 donor egg retrieval with MJ and one negative donor frozen transfer...5 attempts involving numerous people...used about 20 embryos total so far...and finally we have one baby...a baby born at 29 weeks in a third world country...her diagnosis include 29 weeks gestation, low birth weight, PAD, CHF, pneumonia, uti, hypoxia, tracheomalacia...and yet, shes swinging in her swing with her pacifier in her mouth in our living room right now.....and life is good...

IVF/surrogacy in India is not for the faint hearted, that's for sure...but it worked for us...and for many others before us...it wasn't easy...wasn't cheap and wasn't guaranteed...but..it worked....there are still many out there that it hasn't worked for and I keep them in my prayers...as they get second mortgages, loans, sell assets...all for the pursuit of a child.....and I encourage them to keep their eye on the prize...and keep the faith...

I also wanted to say thank you to everyone that has kept us in their prayers...and thank you for all of the kind comments on our blog...I have trouble replying to the comments...my computer gets nutty..so, I just wanted to let you all know that I read your comments and they mean the world to me...take care and God Bless!


                                                      

 

MJ 7 weeks old

 

first family photo with all of us together the night we got home from India

 

Home Sweet Home

Well...we made it home...took 3 weeks...MJ stayed in the hospital until a few hours before we took off...we made it home on Sunday night around 6:00pm and by Wednesday 6:00pm MJ was admitted to the hospital.  Seriously? Respiratory distress once we are in the US? MJ has a chromic "congestion" /nasal congestion which has made her so tired that she could barely breathe..she had retractions and was soo pale..it was very scary...So instead of just lasix and vitamins...she now has breathing treatments around the clock, along with nasal spray (2 of them)...looks like we will not only be seeing cardiologist and opthamologist, we need to add an ENT to the list...but, everyone that complains about the prices of the NICU in India...we stayed 24 hours in the hospital in a regular room, not NICU and the was $4300....but on the bright side our $5000 insurance deductible is now met...

But, at the end of the day, we still have our little sweet girl...and that is what this blog is all about...

 

Delhi Day 14

Update: we transferred MJ to Max Hospital yesterday..her respiratory status started declining at Eden and we felt that she needed to be at a higher acuity hospital with tons of specialists. We loved the staff at Eden and they were very good to us and MJ but we felt that she needed a higher level of care. We had her transferred by ambulance and almost immediately diagnosed with pneumonia...as scary as pneumonia is in a preemie it's a much better option than her heart causing her problems... her pda is "large" but it has decreased about 20% in size. She looked slightly better today. She was breathing much easier. She has her feeding tube back but hopefully once she gets off oxygen that will be removed as well.  We are at Svelte this week...will update you on the pros and cons as i see them of the two on another update...MJ's daddy is bugging me to get off of the computer so he can use it...guess we should have brought two laptops...keep us in your prayers...

Day 9 Delhi

Ok...I'm a terrible blogger...but, in my defense we have had a lot going on. We stayed a week at the Hilton (free on rewards points, woo hoo!) and yesterday moved over to svelte to a room with a microwave for bottle sterilization...The internet is slow here and not as good as at the Hilton..we have to use wireless here and I do not like that...I prefer wired when I am out of town and needing to access personal information...

Anyway, lets catch up...it has been a total roller coaster...MJ is up and down...until yesterday we had a hard time getting her to take more than 15ml at a time from us....she was getting just exhausted...yesterday and today she took the whole 30ml when we fed but she has had some episodes of her 02 sats dropping when NOT feeding..so..I feel like one step forward and two steps back!! But, she looks good...she is more alert and taking her feeds much better...I personally feel that she is having reflux issues and although Dr., Gupta doesn't feel that is an issue he did start her on some anti-reflux meds prophylactically...He feels that her PDA (heart thingy) is the cause of the desatting...We were considering getting her out tomorrow but now he feels that we need to wait another day or two...we are probably going to wait until her FRRO appointment and then jet out the same night...of course we have no idea when that will be....

The embassy came and did the dna collection yesterday for us at the hospital due to her heart condition...I just cannot thank them enough..they have been very kind to us...we then went to the embassy today to get her CRBA (certificate of birth abroad).  Unbelievably, we were in and out in one hour!! Amazing!!  We filled out the forms...Both of our names are on the Indian birth certificate and the CRBA and will be on her passport as well...The CRBA is her american birth certificate. She will likely be the only one in her class with one of those on the first day of school in our little town, lol....Once the DNA test is back we will get her an emergency passport that is good for one year...at that point we will make our appointment with the FRRO to get her Indian visa and then we can finally head home!!

Heading home opens up some new issues...especially with her PDA...we are going to be making some phone calls to some dr's in the us and coming up with a plan...Overall, she is just a precious tiny baby and we are so blessed. We can't wait to get her home.

I also wanted to thank everyone that has commented on our blog...For some reason..my computer is slow and I'm unable to reply to each one..I finally gave up..but I do appreciate everything you guys write and all of your positive vibes!! We could not have done it without you!!  We are at Svelte in room 516 if any of you guys here in Delhi want to get together!! Would love to hear how you guys are doing!!  I will try to be better with the updates and get some pics in soon...Take care and God Bless....

Day 3 Delhi

Well...day 3 is here...quick recap...day 1-flew into delhi late monday night with only one suitcase of 4, day 2-met MJ for the first time at Eden hospital and Dr. Gupta, 3-got to feed MJ a bottle and had our 3 lost suitcases arrive at our hotel without warning...now...let me elaborate...meeting MJ was undescribable yet felt so right...it felt perfectly normal to meet our daughter for the first time at 4 weeks old 8000 miles away from home...sounds weird, huh?  But, that is our normal...we took the road less traveled and it eventually got us to our destination...the ride hasn't been easy or short, but it was successful and for this we are greatful...

We did get a little "surprise" from Dr. Gupta. He failed to mention in our daily conversations for the past month that MJ had a cardiac issue. She has PDA, which is failure of the vessel that carries oxygen to the lungs to close at birth. If it doesn't close with medication or on its own, it will require surgery. Apparently somewhat common with preemies, but apparently something that can only be mentioned when you are face to face with the doctor. That being said, I really am glad that he didn't tell me over the phone because it was difficult enough staying in the US for so long..If I had known about the PDA I would have most definitely been freaking out...

We have no idea when she will be discharged...we just take it day by day...I don't expect it to be anytime soon...she finally today took 30ml at once today..that is equivalent to 1 oz...she gets that every 3 hours...

We have obtained her Indian birth certificate..now we have to wait for dna test...I did ask Dr. Gupta if we could check her out and take to Embassy for DNA and then come back to NICU but of course, he said no..I thought maybe I could pull the "we are both healthcare providers card" but, to no avail...so for now...we wait...and wait...

 

 

Miss Mary Jane

 

Ohhh...India...

We are here!! Only a few more hours until we meet MJ!!! Can't wait!! Unfortunately, our luggage did not make it. So, we will look rough for a few days...Out of 4 bags only 1 made it...yikes...We are at Hilton if anyone is in town and wants to meet up! My inlaws are at Svelte (it's my all time fave but we had rewards points to use up at hilton..got a free week!!)..We will move to Svelte next week...so far am very pleased with the Hilton though...I just miss the living room at Svelte...anyway...going to get the ball rolling tomorrow! Indian birth certificate is in process and now have to see how MJ is improving for the DNA test. Will update when I know more!

See you soon MJ

Sunday is the day..we will get on the big bird and fly 8000 miles.....spoke with the Dr. she continues to do well without oxygen...she is still on tube feeding...will attempt bottle feed in 4 or 5 days...no infections, no meds, no iv's...wow...and no momma or daddy there with her....now im worried that we will visit her and give her an infection...she seems to be doing well without us...and believe me I am thankful for that....I worry about setbacks when they start the bottle feeds...reflux, aspiration risks...etc...a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, you know?
 Im not satisfied with the nursery...it looks like a boy's room to me...we had bought gender neutral bedding that once out of the package has way too much blue....now that I know we have a girl...,I want pink and girly all the way!! But, DH has other ideas...the way I see it, since I'm going to be home with her 24/7...I need something asthetically pleasing to me....something that puts me in a "happy" place while Im rocking a colickly baby!!  I wouldn't tell him what kind of stethoscope he had to use at work, right?  I know...weak defense,...but it's mine...lol...but, it's a nice battle to have, right?
I am unable to get my pics to post...it doesn't give me the little button that says choose from uploads...i click on upload and there is no way to choose a file...anyone else have this problem?

Goodbye oxygen!!

MJ is on room air. Woohoo!! Making some progress! Due to technical difficulties about 36 hours went by before we were able to talk to the doctor...I guess the old saying is true that a watched pot never boils...because when we quit bugging the doctor MJ decided to breathe!! He says she is doing well...just needs to grow...,it will be awhile before she gets the feeding tube out and that is okay...he stresses she is not sick and doing well for her age...

Well, we were itching for some new pics and Margarida had Rachna take some for us. We are sooo excited! I am going to attempt to post these...but, you know sometimes I am technically challenged!  Time is ticking away...10 more days before we get on the big bird and meet our daughter!! 

We are going to stay at the Hilton the first week and the move to Svelte the 2nd week...we had awards points enough for a free week at the Hilton....so, we just couldn't pass that up!! I wanted to be at Svelte for babypick up because of the microwave to sterilize the bottles...plus I like having the living room seperate from the bedroom...

Yesterday we ordered the nursery furniture..thought it was going to take 4-6 weeks but they called me today and said we can pick it up tomorrow!! Last night, ordered packnplay and carseat...we've bought the camcorder and a new camera...finally things are coming together!!  Now trying to decide about Phil and Ted cocoon...also, any ideas for the best baby things to carry on the plane ride back? 

Thank you all for your best wishes and prayers. It means so much to us. Take care and God Bless.
 

2 weeks

We will get to meet our daughter for the first time in 2 weeks!!  What an emotional journey we have been on!! She continues to have issues with breathing. We will assess the situation when we get there and go from there. For now, the dr says she is doing okay but is only able to stay off of the sipap for a few hours on oxygen. If she is still on cpap when we get there we will have to make some decisions. Do we set up camp in India or do we put Operation Exit India into overdrive and medi-vac out of there?  Neither alternative is cheap or easy...wow...2 weeks to get out of India used to seem like an eternity....now...not so much...I hope they will send some new pics soon...you know how babies change daily!! Hope everyone is well and can't wait to meet the IP's and those on baby pick up in Delhi!

Bye Bye Ventilator....Hello Sipap....

Well...Mary Jane continues to improve...we are trying to make travel plans...looking like the 20th of January...so if anybody is going to be at Eden...please...snap us some pics!! This is torture!! Like being on a diet with a roomful of desserts!!!  I hope that was her last ventilator experience...whew...but at least the doctor says shes tolerating her feedings well and making good stools and wet diapers...if she can just get this breathing thing down pat!! We are going crazy trying to get everything together....put 2 procrastinators together and you have chaos!!  I hope these next 2 weeks fly by!!!  Looks like a lot of exciting things going on in blogland..hope to meet some of you guys when we are in Dehli!! 

She has a name...and a ventilator....

After much controversy and wishy washiness she finally has a name...Mary Jane....she has been named after both of our mothers...a good old fashioned American name....it's easy to spell...easy to say...and both grandmas I think are pleased...Of course, after she gets her name..she decides to pull a fast one...the Dr. said she just became too exhausted yesterday and they had to put her on the vent...reports her settings continue to decrease and she will hopefully be off in a day or two...otherwise doing well...good feedings and good stool...after the initial freak out moment of being back on the vent i forgot to ask him about her weight...i bought some preemies outfits hoping that when I get there they will let her wear them...it looks like she might well be outgrown the preemie outfits before she is discharged...we will just wait and see...so, if anyone is headed to Eden...please check on our daughter...as I am unable to take our other two children to India (need notarized statement from ex....tried, but he refused)...I will be here for a little longer...trying to figure out a plan....my husband works crazy hours and they can't be home alone while he is at work...so...we wait...and pray...I was planning on leaving in about 2 weeks but now with the whole vent placement thing...I don't know...I've got arrangements for our other 2 for about 2-3 weeks when I am gone but that is it...so, it is all in the timing...if I could just clone myself...and be independently wealthy...as you all know...the sooner you go to india the sooner the hotel/dining/transportation bills accrue...it's a double edged sword, you know? You just feel like you are being pulled in all directions; it seems like no matter what decision I make, I will let somebody down...cloning is the only solution I can come up with....but, I just tell myself....it wasn't easy getting pregnant and it's not going to be easy coming home...oh Mary Jane...you are going to be a little pistol....you now have a name...you now have some clothes...so, just go ahead and breathe for mama, ok? 

One Week Old

Well...she still doesn't have a name...but...she is one week old today!!!  She is still on cpap...I will feel better when she gets off of that...that could be 3 days, could be another week....but at least she is not sick!! The doctor continues to reassure us that she just needs to grow...they have stopped the iv fluids and the prophylactic antibiotics...she continues with her tube feedings.....now, all she needs is time...When are we going to Dehli??? That and what is her name are the two questions we are trying to answer...We want to go today...but, of course....that creates a financial issue and an issue with childcare for our other two children...with my husbands work schedule he is unable to keep the kids as he works 12 and 24 hour shifts about an hour away from home...two to three weeks in February we had worked out...2 or 3 months now...we had not....hopefully all of the moons will align soon and we can get on that big bird and fly!!! Of course, she still has no bed, clothes, car seat, etc....so, we will make good use of this time by getting her stuff bought and ready for her arrival to the US...We can't wait!!  Keep us in your prayers!!!  Thanks everyone for the support you have shown. It means the world to us!!!  Oh, on the name thing..we are getting it narrowed down a little...since she was born on "doomsday" according to the Mayans, we are considering a middle name of Maya....but, of course...that is not set in stone yet!! 

Thanks Ryan!!

Just wanted to give a shout out to Ryan for snapping some pics for us, donating some goods and checking on our little one!! You are the bomb, Ryan! Thank you sooo much!! I will try to upload some of the photos in a bit. She is doing better...on cpap off of the vent...tolerating feedings well...He gave us a great update and for that we are grateful..Again, the support from the surro community is overwhelming....it's like one big family...and I am so thankful...

 

Question(s) of the day

Ok fellow bloggers...you know I call on you all when I need to know something...so, here it goes...
1) What is the best DNA lab with the fastest turnaround time? Any good or bad experiences are appreciated...
2) What is the best (smallest) preemie diapers and how many should I take?
3) We are going to fly United/continental. .. we would like to get a cc that would allow us to use the united club room and earn frequent flyer miles...any ideas?
4) what is one thing you wished you would have brought but didn't?
5) Phil and Ted cocoons? Where do you get them?

Plus, any other pearls of wisdom on getting us out of India would be great!! Thanks!

Pics!!!!

Here she is...all 2.9 pounds!!! Look at that big diaper!!

 

 

 

We still don't have a name...but, we've only had 2 1/2 years of fertility treatments to think about a name....that's not that long, right???

 

 

 

 

OMG....We have a daughter!!!

We have a room that's not painted, no nursery furniture and not a single diaper...but...we have the most important thing of all...a DAUGHTER!! Born at 1:50 12/21/12....I can't believe it!! She weighs 3 pounds and is on the ventilator; otherwise doing well...just..premature...I say 30 weeks Dr. Anju says 29 weeks,...anyway..we are on cloud 9 yet terrified!! We can't wait to see her!! We are to anticipate a 6 week NICU stay..so we have a little time to get things together...but it is so hard not jumping on the first plane out of here!! Of course, we have to get all of the legal papers found and copied, make arrangements for our other children and dogs...let G's work know....I just can't believe it..I am so happy..yet so scared...they sent us pics...she looks so good! I know she's tiny but she looks big in the pics...I will try to share those later...right now just can't concentrate!! If anybody has had a baby born that early, especially in India, all helpful hints welcome! Also, would like to know how long your stay was in India and how your baby/babies are doing! Also, if there are any parents in Dehli picking up their baby would you mind checking on ours? Please? Or if there are any intended parents who plan on touring the facility anyway would you mind checking on ours? It is killing us not being there...I had hoped for another month but she had other plans!!! All prayers and advice appreciated!!

Crazy Question

Ok..crazy question....is there anyone out there in blogland that has breastfed (with implants) a baby born by surrogate?  I know...it will probably result in new implants, if it would even work...but I just can't help myself,...I breastfed my other two children and want to do the same with this one...I know...I'm late getting on board...I just really want to do this...the odds of it even working are slim to none, I know,...but...if anyone has any advice...I'm all ears...

third trimester

28 weeks.....just saying.....

24 WEEKS

Well....24 weeks...6 mths...a few hiccups along the way but we are hanging in there....still too scared to start the nursery...maybe at 29 weeks, hmm....I am so thankful to have made it this far but unfortunately realize there are many that have made it this far and still do not have a baby...I guess you could say I'm cautiously optimistic...I will just go with the premise that no news is good news....I guess I need to email the embassy and start getting DNA test information and Operation Exit India squared away...hopefully February will get here before we know it!!! It's just like I'm in denial at times....or think that if I say it out loud something will happen, you know? The practial side of me says that telling people about our pregnancy will no way affect the outcome...but, the superstitious side of me says, why take any chances? So, here I sit...not allowing myself to daydream or make plans, you know, just in case....I just hope that at some point in this pregnancy I can allow myself to enjoy it...and stop being afraid all of the time...maybe at 32 weeks, hmm......