Sunday, 3 June 2012

Oh to be young, thin and fertile again.....

Day 5 of twice a day subcutaneous injections in my fat belly...and believe me, for that I am could be worse..IM (intramuscular-ouch!) I guess that's the only good thing about the infertility fat I've put me a nice target for my injections!!  My scan went okay..still with 9 follicles..not much bigger though..looks like egg retrieval on saturday or sunday....hopefully saturday or I will have to change my ticket!!  Labs are it's just a game of wait and see...

Enjoyed going to see Dehli Newborn and visiting Hayden with Bernadette.  The staff was very friendly and the facility looked much better than I imagined. He is such a cutie! Fingers crossed he will be coming home soon!!  I have met many nice people joined by a common thread....infertility.....why couldn't we all just be in the millionaire's club?? If you have to have something in common, it should be independent wealth, you know?

I have taken to my bed for the last 2 days except for my trips to SCI. I have been sick..flulike, fever, diarrhea, severe nausea that I could have turned into vomiting if I hadn't been so belly pain though...luckily, Dr. S hooked me up with some meds and I feel much better now...apparently fever is something you don't want during can adversely affect your, Rahul took me to the chemist and got me fixed up with some tylenol/ibuprofen combo that has worked wonders!! Of course, in retrospect I wonder if the McSpicy chicken sandwich I ate from Mcdonalds had anything to do with my dilemma....

Can't wait for DH (dear husband) to get here Wednesday....I am so lonely...Rahul asked me if I was missing "sir" which was true but I was actually trying to keep from hurling onto the back seat of his new car!! Of course, poor thing, the air conditioner in his car went out...I thought I was going to spontaneously combust!!!  It was 44 degrees here...thats 111 degrees F I believe...Oh my....and to think we shouldn't wear shorts here!! Of course, I did bring some with me...I might throw on a pair when Im feeling better and head to the mall...I'm in the mood to turn some heads and get some stares, lol!!

Well, do you remember in a previous blog I mentioned that we were doing things differently this time?  We decided to go all out...we have thrown an egg donor into the, how many women on how many continents does it take to get us knocked up? I can't even keep least now it gets interesting!!  It's like a jacked up episode of Sister Wives...geez....We ultimately want more than one child ( I know, how greedy does that sound when we haven't been able to conjure up one yet?)  So, our thoughts were, even if we got lucky and got a pregnancy this time with my eggs, we would definitely want a sibling close in age, if we had a negative we would have turned to donor eggs anyway...the donor we chose has an excellent egg donation  history...has always had tons of embryos left over to, here we are...hopefully really close to getting a baby....and the truth is, there are no guarantees with this surrogacy gig...until you are on that plane headed home with your baby...anything goes...negative tests, positive tests, miscarriage, prematurity, birth defects.......there is alway something to worry about...and as a mother of two already I realize the worrying only intensifies as they get children are 11 and 8 and I worry about them constantly, second guess every decision I make....the joys of parenting...I can't wait to add another little bundle of joy to obsess over!!

This last year has been difficult....many ups and downs....has stirred so many emotions that I never knew existed....although my first choice would have been to have a few drinks and forget the birth control once and end up with a baby that I carried and I delivered...but that is not the way to our destiny...but instead of concentrating on what I don't have, it's time to concentrate on what I do have and who I have become...had I not been faced with infertility I would have never had the courage to travel to India alone, give myself shots in the stomach and make friends from all over the US, Australia and other parts of the world...I have learned to be less judgemental and more accepting....yes, there are things that I have missed out on and that still hurts...but I have gained so much...and for that, I am thankful....every life experience we have adds to our character and I think because of it I am a better person....poorer...but better, lol....


  1. Hope you feel better!!! My husband always says only the strongest of people are given this cross to bear as others just would not be able to handle it. You are right-definitely adds character (as well as stamps to our passports!!)
    Best wishes, K

  2. Rene, I loved this post. The honesty, the determination and your resilience. Hoping the combination of what you have decided to do will work. x

  3. Oh poor you, IVF meds, sick and hot in Delhi. xxx

  4. Oh, I cannot imagine how crummy you must have felt. It is awful to be unwell when away from home..thank god you got some meds to help. 9 follicles is better than 1 or 0 so keep staying posiitve!

  5. I was going to type "sending you warm fuzzy thoughts!" but I may need to change that to "sending you cold and comfy thoughts". :-)
    Keep the back of your neck cool if at all possible! That will help the rest of your body.

    Are you implanting the donor eggs back into you or into another surrogate or the same surrogate?

    Keep us updated!

    1. my eggs into one surrogate...donor eggs into another surrogate...

      cool comfy thoughts are is really hot here!!

    2. That's what I figured, but I still wanted to ask. :-)

      I am soooooo not looking forward to the heat. Oofa.

      I have a good feeling you will have a positive outcome this time!!!

  6. Thanks guys for the positive vibes! I feel much better!! keep your fingers crossed!!

  7. Your title of this blog cracked me up because I had just had the thought myself! Well, the young and thin part, and I guess the fertile part too because I was obviously challenged in that area as well! I hope that you feel better soon and that the a/c in your hotel is keeping you nice and cool. Keep going, you WILL get there!!!!

  8. Sounds as though you're going for win this time and sounds as though you'll have a very good chance of success, we went for 2 donors and 2 surrogates as you know and we currently have 2 pregnancies! Best of luck in coming days x

  9. All the best for egg collection at the weekend Rene, hope you feel better soon, keep resting up

  10. Without this 'adventure' we would not know just how lucky we REALLY are. Been trying to skype you .....