Crazy Question

Ok..crazy question....is there anyone out there in blogland that has breastfed (with implants) a baby born by surrogate?  I know...it will probably result in new implants, if it would even work...but I just can't help myself,...I breastfed my other two children and want to do the same with this one...I know...I'm late getting on board...I just really want to do this...the odds of it even working are slim to none, I know,...but...if anyone has any advice...I'm all ears...

third trimester

28 weeks.....just saying.....

24 WEEKS

Well....24 weeks...6 mths...a few hiccups along the way but we are hanging in there....still too scared to start the nursery...maybe at 29 weeks, hmm....I am so thankful to have made it this far but unfortunately realize there are many that have made it this far and still do not have a baby...I guess you could say I'm cautiously optimistic...I will just go with the premise that no news is good news....I guess I need to email the embassy and start getting DNA test information and Operation Exit India squared away...hopefully February will get here before we know it!!! It's just like I'm in denial at times....or think that if I say it out loud something will happen, you know? The practial side of me says that telling people about our pregnancy will no way affect the outcome...but, the superstitious side of me says, why take any chances? So, here I sit...not allowing myself to daydream or make plans, you know, just in case....I just hope that at some point in this pregnancy I can allow myself to enjoy it...and stop being afraid all of the time...maybe at 32 weeks, hmm......

20 weeks update

We are halfway there...can you believe it? We got our triple marker screenings and everything is within normal limits..woo hoo...our 3D scan was tooo cute...Baby C has some sweet sweet baby lips!! Can't wait to see him/her...of course...Baby C needs to wait until after the first of the year to make his/her appearance...Keep your fingers and toes crossed...we still haven't bought anything or started working on the nursery yet...don't want to jinx ourselves..but I am so ready to get this party started!!!! I assume our next scan will be in a month...so until then..no news is good news!! Wanted to say a big Congrats to Bec!!! He is just beautiful!!! Thanks for all of your support and prayers!! Please keep it coming!!

Surprise Scan

Sorry it's been awhile since I've blogged...things are going well...we are right on target at 14 weeks...still can't breathe yet but I'm starting to believe there might be light at the end of the tunnel....

9wk 6d

A little glimmer of hope...just received our ultrasound and there was a heartrate of 172 and measurements equal 9wk 6 days...everything APPEARS normal so far....will keep on keeping on....will get another ultrasound in a couple of weeks...fingers crossed....

Just keep on, keeping on....

Well...another big fat negative...just throw that into the pile with all of the rest....you got it...out of 5 embryos thawed...4 survived for transfer...but still...a negative...have you ever stopped and added up all of the embryos?? Geez...10 total from me...have used 9 from donor...what as the layperson non infertility person sees as 19 babies in reality equals one miscarriage...one ongoing singleton pregnancy that has yet to reach the 2nd trimester and several big fat negatives along the way...plus a whole lot of heartache and money..(not to mention 20 extra pounds!!) but, we just keep on keeping on...that's all we can do...I think about Bernadette...of everything she has went through...of everything she is going through...how does she do it? How does she stay strong?? How does she keep the faith? She like the rest of us do it because that's what we all have to do to reach our goal; we have no other choice unless it is to remain childless...no, we can't get drunk and knocked up in the back seat of a car like the majority of unwed teenage mothers in our state...but, you know, just in case, maybe we should give it a whirl, who knows? Miracles still happen, right?  Seriously, we do this because it's the hand we've been dealt and we will do whatever it takes to achieve our goal...no matter how expensive, no matter how much it drains us emotionally..no matter the toil it takes on our everyday lives and the rest of our family dynamics...we just keep on keeping on...as I was told early on in this surrogacy journey by another IP...you just have to keep your eyes on the prize...and that's what I continue to tell myself...I try not to stress over the ultrasounds anymore...or the updates...it is all beyond my control....me stressing does not help anything...the only problem is if Im not stressing I feel disconnected....at least when Im stressing it feels real.....and right now...I just can't get it to seem real...Im still to scared to breathe...I guess I can hold my breath until about 29 weeks along...can't be that hard, right?